Next to all the adventures and new experiences, we are also facing our own personal barriers within the context of “The Life-Light”. This is an update how I (Daan) also encountered some of my barriers.
In Buenos Aires we were planning to go in the city and make some shots for our film. But Jordi was very tired so we decided that it was better for him to stay in the hotel to work on our first video blog. So I had to go and film alone for the first time in the big city, with Jordi’s equipment. In advance Jordi and I had discussed what shots we needed, so I went out with a good plan! But after 4 hours in the city I came back to the hotel with something totally different.
So what happened? I noticed that I was feeling quite unsafe, also because I was in an unfamiliar environment with expensive equipment. When I was filming I noticed I got some attention from the locals and this was something I didn’t feel comfortable with. I don’t know whether this feeling was realistic or if it was something that was just inside my head. But this uncomfortable feeling blocked me completely. I didn’t took the shots Jordi and I agreed upon but only took some shots I felt safe with. At the same time I knew this weren’t the shots we needed. But I wasn’t in control of the situation and didn’t know how to change it. Frustrated as I was I went home.
After we looked at the footage, Jordi and I had an extensive talk about the situation. In our conversation we discovered that I have an unconscious reaction on moments where I feel unsafe or when I am under pressure. I tend to pull myself back and search for safety. I developed this reaction over the years and now I am discovering it is blocking me way more than I expected. At those moments I am no longer able to overlook the situation and put them in perspective. Now I see how this barrier is holding me back to fully function as a designer and film maker.
In this conversation with Jordi I decided that I want to work on this, so I can break this pattern and barrier. I want to do this by being more open in my communication. When I feel unsafe and uncomfortable during our trip I want to be very open with Jordi about this feeling. By talking about it I can teach myself how to express these feelings. So I can also change my reaction to it.
During the film process in Buenos Aires I was confronted with one of my barriers and I discovered something new about myself. But it’s great to discover these things so I can face my barriers together with Jordi and learn and grow as a human being and creator.
I am looking forward to all the new adventures the future will bring. And we will also keep you up to date of our personal process in this great project!!!